A few days ago we received our "Favorable Determination Letter" (or FDL) in the mail from the U.S. Department of Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). It was quite a moment for me, sitting alone (not) on the porch, going through the mail.
The FDL is a formal, official, pre-approval for us to adopt from Ethiopia. It's our government's way of saying, Carrie and Chris, you passed all the requirements and we will allow this. It's pretty amazing. It brought me to tears. Here's why: I can write checks and fill out forms all day long. (Okay, not really... but I mean it's not a hard thing for me- I like administrative stuff like that).
Some people are so daunted at the task of putting together a Dossier they never adopt because they can't get past the bureaucracy of it all. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say, "Why do they make it so hard to adopt?" Well, child trafficking for starters.
But really, if you can't stand the test of people you hardly know looking into every nook and cranny of your personal, financial, and daily life then you can't handle adoption. Because that, my friends, is just the beginning of the process.
The paperwork process is a filter.
That's why there was so much joy in that moment for me. It made the paper, the payments, the bureaucracy of it all very, very real. It made it worth it. It meant, all of a sudden, after six months of paperwork and corrections, that all that work was actually FOR something. That paperwork said we are approved to adopt one boy or two, with at least one being a boy, from Ethiopia. Amazing.
Truly amazing.
And then today. Today is the day we will mark on our calendars as if it were a birthday. Today our Dossier was officially approved at our adoption (placing) agency. Today is the day we go on the Wait List at All God's Children International. Today is the day we officially join the other waiting families for our child or children. Only the Lord knows. And we trust Him. And we continue to wait.
It will be long. (2-3 years).
We will have to renew and update forms along the way. (Every 15-18 months).
We will have to pay more fees for those updates and renewals. ($85-$720)
And it will all be worth it, two or three years from now when we get that referral and bring home our son (or sons, or son and daughter!)
And then a whole new process will begin. A transition. A new family member (or two)! A new way of being this family.
And you know what I've learned? I've learned to wait well.
I've learned that the waiting is where the refining fires are. The fires that make me more like Christ; the suffering that only comes from the pain of a wait, a loss, a time without something you long for.
Makes me think of heaven. Makes me think of how I don't really long for heaven on a daily basis because I'm too caught up in the WHATEVER of the day.
So I welcome the wait. I welcome the pain of not having something our hearts have longed and will continue to long for until the day comes when the Lord completes our family through yet another adoption.
I welcome the wait because it's hard and it reminds me that we are all waiting for something this side of heaven.
Are you welcoming your wait?
