I have a friend who has four kids and home schools. She pursued me a few years ago to pick my brain about adoption. She wanted the "real" story, the nitty-gritty, an honest look into our experience with international adoption. I gave it to her because she asked and was receptive to the truth of the hard things. She was actually interested in the hard things about it. And I was at this point where I was finally ready to share.
Let's just say God orchestrated the friendship at the perfect time in both of our lives/walks/families so that we could both learn from one another. I learned how to be honest about hard things. You can read her funny, heartwarming blog here at Sarah's Blog. The super cool thing that God did with that time was two-fold: one, it got me to open up about a hard time in our family's life and it healed me as I shared it. When I opened up and talked about the hard truths, God was glorified and I was actually encouraged by it! I was also extremely encouraged by Sarah's response which was (in a nutshell) "Yes, I have my eyes wide open!" Better still, God used part of it to encourage Sarah and her husband, Jess, to pursue adoption in their family!
Here's the cool part and the whole point of that last paragraph. Sarah decided the best way to go about it was to keep the dossier assembly on the down-low until it was completed. Now that it's submitted, they are having fun announcing it to their close friends and family (not in that order!) It dawned on me that we have done the opposite (both times). We have shared our news with everyone and now we get the constant questions from those who are interested, "How's the adoption going?"
THANK YOU FOR ASKING! We love to keep you in the loop. We love to talk about what God is doing in our family and in Ethiopia, and in the adoption agency we chose to partner with this time! It's good for us to talk about it, so keep asking. And if you haven't asked how it's going, please do. We welcome the asking, because it reminds us that we're in this together. Thank you to those who keep checking in.
So where are we now? We started our Home Study in February and it's being reviewed by the adoption agency now. They are waiting on two things from us before it can be officially "approved." One is a workbook called "Eyes Wide Open" that has about 20 chapters. We have a few more chapters left to go, then we send it in to our case manager who reviews our homework for completion (can you say SCHOOL!?)
We also have completed about 8 online courses through Adoption Learning Partners. Friends and family members who are totally on board with us about adoption, I CANNOT say enough good things about this website. I wish it had been available to us nine years ago as we began our first adoption. It's like a GOLD MINE of information for families. And not just the adoptive families, but the friends and families OF adoptive families as well. I've gleaned so much from the classes! My favorite two are Conspicuous Families and The Journey of Attachment. Take them if you love us.
We have one more set of classes to take at our local agency in Nashville, called Parents in Process. We will go every Tuesday night from 3-8pm for five Tuesdays in a row.
So can you tell that this agency is STELLAR when it comes to preparing families for what lies ahead? If I had to tell anyone adopting ONE THING only- it would be to choose an agency that requires this type of learning and education. Not preparing yourself would be like buying a boatload of fancy, expensive, gourmet food and not knowing how to cook. That's basically what our first adoption felt like. It's like getting married without having premarital counseling. You're just not prepared. It's turrible. :(
So that's where we are now. Once the home study is complete, we will apply for the I-600A (Petition to Adopt an Orphan through Homeland Security) and do a few other paperwork things and then we will be done with Dossier assembly hopefully by mid-September.
Then we wait. There is a two and a half year wait right now in Ethiopia. Our home study has approved us for one child that is ten months younger than the youngest child in the family at the time of placement. That means in 2.5 years, Thomas will be almost 4.5, so the referral of the boy must be at least 0-3 years old. We plan to name him Daniel, but if you've ever heard Claire's naming story, you know that naming a child can change at the last minute!
Waiting isn't hard for me. The Lord has taught me to wait for many things. I waited seven years to have kids. Well, technically I waited five, the Lord added two years to "my" timeline to really teach me!
So what can you do? Keep asking how we're doing. Encourage us however you see fit. It feels good and we need it.
Pray for our family if the Lord brings us to your mind. Pray for us to complete our adoption education and paperwork on time.
Pray for our future son!
Pray for God to be glorified in us when we are most satisfied in HIM!
Until the next time...
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