Conspicuous Families

con·spic·u·ous  

/kənˈspikyo͞oəs/

Adjective Standing out so as to be clearly visible. Attracting notice or attention.

Synonyms prominent - noticeable - notable - marked - outstanding

Tonight I had the pleasure of hanging out with some girlfriends that I used to to do MOPS with a few years ago. It was bittersweet, since we were farewelling a friend who is off to her husband's next duty station. 

I had a chance to catch up with a girlfriend that had a son, adopted another son, and is now pregnant with #3! It was a joyful moment for me when I learned the good news that she was expecting! I remember her telling me that she had always thought about adopting, but didn't know how God was going to use that in her life. 

I don't even know the details of the very fast adoption that happened for her and her family the year I left MOPS. But I know God's hand was in it. And she has a beautiful African-American son as a result. She, her husband, and her bio son are Caucasian; so to say they look conspicuous would be right on. 

I know the feeling.

Standing out so to be clearly visible.

Attracting notice or attention.

I get it. 

I was sharing this with her tonight and I just felt the need to blog about it, too. (The sudafed is keeping me awake, too). (And did I mention the quiet house?) I LOVE ME A QUIET HOUSE!

So here's the thing. At first, being a Conspicuous Family annoyed me. I felt like it was nobody else's right to ask about my family. I was protective. Of course, my adopted child was a one-year old, so I let it go- she wasn't paying attention. But now that one-year old is seven. And she is listening very carefully to everything I say to everyone. And she's also listening to everything everyone else says, too.

So I've evolved. (No, not really, like from monkeys- who believes THAT?) I'm not as protective because here's the thing. Adopted kids need to know that they are loved just like bio kids. And most of the time, in the family, that's where they are going to feel it and know whether or not it's actually true. And yes, there is a world full of people that don't know any better than to open their mouths and ask things because they are just so stinking curious that they must know about your family. 

Use that. 

Use the opportunity being a Conspicuous Family gives you. 

Use it to preach the gospel to your children.

Use it to preach the gospel to the people staring at you in amazement.

Use it to preach the gospel to the waitress, the clerk, the teenager, the pizza delivery guy (and yes, he once asked if I ran a daycare at my house).

Be ready with an answer. 

I wish I was better at this. You'd think after six years I'd have this part down. But I don't. I need to work on being ready with an answer. Because I know what I think- I just have a hard time explaining it sometimes!

So I'll share the moment that made me "get" being a Conspicuous Family, the moment when I finally let my guard down and saw it as a beautiful thing instead of something to hide. 

I was on a hayride on Halloween in our neighborhood. Another Caucasian family with two bio daughters had just brought home two Ethiopian siblings about five months earlier and they hopped on the hayride. In the dark, I just sat and stared at them. I stared at the girls. I stared at the parents. Then I stared at the girls again. Then the parents. You get the idea. I was looking at God's design for a broken world to bring wholeness into the lives of orphans. I could relate, I have done this, too! But to see it in front of me like that- it was so beautiful! I couldn't take my eyes off of that family! Yes, they were conspicuous, but they were also glorifying their father in heaven by being a Conspicuous Family!

So I'm embracing it. You know I must be if we are adopting again! And I'm learning how to open my wimpy little mouth and let the Gospel Truth pour out instead of trying to hide that which is attracting notice and attention.